Part of the solution?

Sometimes I wish I could be a different "me". I know that sounds silly. On the outside, I sometimes seem vivacious, yet sometimes, inwardly, I'd rather be hiding in a corner. I don't really dislike myself, sometimes I wish that I could have the perfect household, where everyone gets along 100% of the time, and where we don't have to worry about this or that. But, if that were the case, then we'd be living in a perpetual episode of "Leave it to Beaver." Then again, not everything went 100 % smoothly on "Leave it to Beaver."

In the Word, it says that we are to rejoice when people revile us, but I'll admit -- that's the last thing I want to do when things get said. I usually want to go hide in a corner and not come out. Sometimes, I'd prefer to stay in my own little corner of the world, where I can't be hurt by people who I've reached out to in love.

We were watching "Nim's Island" tonight as a family -- which was a very good thing. While my mind soared with Nim as she ran through the jungle and swam in the ocean, and did the adventurous things she did, I found that I understood Alex's character. As a person deals with the world, and becomes hurt by it, it's easier to care from a distance, wishing to live out adventures in your imagination.

But the world is out there -- and the Lord called us to be a light IN this world, while not being OF this world. I often wonder if I'm truly making a difference. I want to make a difference in the lives of those I come in contact with.

A history teacher of mine -- Mr. Sunburg -- said something very profound when I was in high school, and I never forgot it. He said, "If you're not part of the solution, then you're part of the problem."

Since then, I've tried to live up to that. When I see a need, I try my best to step up to the plate, because if I don't do anything to help a situation, then I believe, based upon what Mr. Sunberg said, then I'm part of the problem as to why something positive does not come to pass.

It's something I've wrestled with. Some things, I've discovered, are not in my capacity to fix -- some things are out of my grasp of comprehension. I'm discovering that day by day, I've got to rely upon one person only -- and it's not myself. I have to trust that God is in every single day -- no matter if it's good or bad -- and I have to resign myself to the knowledge that people are not God's robots -- they have been equipped with that nice little ditty called "free will."

It's free will for someone to yell at a person who cuts them off at an intersection. It's free will to look at shows or listen to music that is not edifying. It's free will to spread gossip about someone else. It's free will to choose to argue back with a parent who exercises their free will to loudly complain about how much time you spend in the bathroom. I cannot control people -- I don't have that ability. I can exercise my free will to pray for my friends and enemies. So, if I pray and ask for guidance, and try to interact in a loving manner to others around me, and trust in the Lord with all of my being, then I AM being part of the solution.

Time to allow Jesus to help me to be the hero of my own story.