Fight the Fight

I have two friends whose divorces have become final relatively close to one another. They don't know each other, and their stories seem to be different.

One gal is upset about the death of her marriage, while the other friend is celebrating the end of hers. The other night, she asked me advice. She is upset that her now ex-husband wishes to share custody, 50/50. The thing is, her now-ex-husband is a good man who adores his children. I told her that if she trusted her children alone with her husband while married to him, then she should be able to trust him now; I don't think she liked that. I told her that I wish she would have asked me for advice before she filed for her divorce, which hit all of her friends like a bolt of lightening. None of us saw it coming or were told about it until it was almost final.

People tend to think that because I have been divorced that I will be in the cheering section for anyone who wishes to leave their spouse; I am not a fan of divorce at all. I know only too well why God HATES divorce. It affects the children, the husband's family and friends, the wife's family and friends, your business associates and your church family, not to mention God, Himself. I did not want a divorce; I wanted us to get help. There were problems that caused me to leave to protect myself, among other issues that is the business of my ex and myself. It's my understanding that my friend who is not happy about her divorce did not want hers, either.

This is the advice gave to the friend who was all too happy to get a divorce: "In life, marriages are like tides,,, there's ebbs and flows to every marriage. There are times you feel passionate about each other, other times when you feel more in like than in love, and other times where you don't like each other all that much,,, BUT marriage is so worth working for."

And that's the truth. It IS worth working for. If you fell in love with someone, there was a reason you did so. There was something that drew you to them. If your relationship is based on nothing but looks, well, then,,, uh,,, there's a problem, because looks fade. People lose their hair and put on weight and have bad breath when they first wake up. But if you are a Christian, and you said "Till death do us part," then that marriage is worth fighting for. Now, if that other person is running around on you and trying to beat you up, there are reasons to leave. But if you want to leave your spouse because you think your life will be more carefree, don't ask me for advice,,, you won't like it.

The devil is only too willing to try to convince you that you're in your rights to get a divorce -- it's up to us to know which is the voice of the enemy and which is the voice of God -- and fight hell, itself for the life of our marriages.

Sorry,,, but I just had to get this off of my chest.