Happy New Year - and don't say thank you in a foreign tongue unless you know who you're talking to

Welcome to 2009! My eldest is beginning his first job this new year, Robbie Knevil is about to make some kind of jump over a volcano and my children actually stayed up to say, "Happy New Year." It's kind of like when I turned 30 -- I looked in the mirror, said, "Oh, well, the face looks the same as it did yesterday when I was 29."

I can't help but feel a little hopeful for this new year, though. I don't know why, but I do. I feel this way twice a year...with the onslaught of a new year, and the beginning of a new school year. So, if you're planning a good year, may you place God first and foremost and may His plan come to pass for your life.

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So, a few weeks ago my family and I went to the mall. In the food court, there's a Japanese place; a man who worked there was passing out chicken. My eldest is learning Japanese, so a few words have rubbed off on me, and I wanted to try out my Japanese. So, I said, "Thank you," in Japanese. The guy looked at me like I was crazy. So I repeated "Aragato." There was the look, again. I asked, "Did I say it right? Did I say 'thank you' right in Japanese?"

He looked me square in the face and replied in a broken accent, "I no Japanese, I Chinese."

I should have eaten crow instead of teriaki chicken.

I need help

I need help. Right after I discovered the guy who committed suicide, I saw someone from the psychiatric field. I was in the midst of having wave upon wave upon wave of panic attacks the day after everything. He said the only thing that would help is time.

Time hasn't helped much. I have dreams where this person shows up, and I realize that he's not a living person anymore, and last night I told him to go away in my dream. Certain sounds will trigger what I saw, and it'll play -- uninvited -- in my head like a bad movie that won't go away. I can't stand driving down that road to the person's home -- especially at night, because it was night-time when all of this transpired -- it all plays back in my head.

Why am I just saying this out to no one in particular? My husband has the number for someone for me to call on Monday. I've got to call and talk, get help for this. The joy of the Lord used to be my strength. My gosh -- I cry over everything, anymore! Last week, my crock pot cracked, ruining my French onion soup at the church fellowship dinner, and I started sobbing! How embarrassing!

Why is this one incident getting to me like this? I've experience tons -- and I'm not kidding -- TONS of rotten stuff, lots of traumatic stuff throughout my whole life. My life would seem like bad fiction, and yet I've worked through it with the help of God. I need God to help me with this. I know He has been helping me. I just need more of His help in getting me through this.

I've lost a beloved aunt (the only aunts that I've loved like crazy are on my mother's side) to cancer this year, a mother-in-law, people who said they were friends and said they "loved me" only to turn around and stab me squarely in the back the first chance they got; that was only this year alone. I'm praying that the Lord Jesus will smile on my family this year and make this the year that will restore all that the locusts have eaten.

LIghts of Christmas

If I had to choose which holiday is my favorite, normally I'd say "Resurrection Sunday", as that celebrates the Savior overcoming death and the grave, which gives us hope eternal.

But you know, Christmas could easily be a tie. I'm learning to stop worrying about the commercialism, am almost over the fact that the true birthday of our Savior was more likely in July or August and am actually enjoying Christmas, the day that Christians celebrate the day that God cared enough about the human race to enter it in the form of a baby. Immanuel -- God with us. How wonderful God is, and how loving!

I love the Christmas music. Last week we went to one library for a hand bell Christmas concert. Last night, we went to a Christmas concert featuring a dulcimer player. It was wonderful singing and hearing songs celebrating the Lord Jesus!

Following the concert, we went in search of Christmas lights. We ended up at an establishment that goes all out to decorate their home, chocked full of all sorts of tinkling, blinking Christmas lights. They have a U-shaped driveway that takes you along through this Christmas wonderland, and it ends with a donation bin. Donations go to local charities. The children absolutely love the lights, and I marvel at them, too.

When Christmas ends, I end up missing those multi-colored lights with emblazon the night sky. As I pondered this, the realization hit me: maybe those lights remind me of the Light of the world, who came to dispel the darkness. It's amazing how the birth of a baby over 2000 years ago would impact the lives of countless people through the ages. But then, any time God is involved, you can rest assured that even the smallest event in His scheme of things can become utterly amazing to us, our families, our country, and our world.

Light of the world, You stepped down into darkness, opened our eyes and let us see.

Action!

So I read in the news today where Hillary Rodham Clinton is not going to be paid as highly as her predessor, Condoleeza Rice; however, it will be an increase from her previous salary as a senator. Then I read how much a senator gets paid -- over 169,000 dollars a year. Now, what griped my cookies is that these poor senators are getting a PAY RAISE next year -- they will get paid $174,000!!

One-hundred seventy-four thousand dollars per year, all paid for by folks like you and me.

How many of us make that type of money? How many of us have top of the line health care, vehicles and the like taken care of, etc., etc.

I called up my senators tonight. The one senator's voice mail was full; the other was ready for me to state my extreme displeasure.

I am looking at families living on only 30,000 dollars a year, expected to make it -- AND to pay still MORE taxes as we as a country bail out the banks, Wall Street and the auto industry.

This makes me angry. It should make America angry, as well. If we're going to be expected to tighten our budgets, it has to start in CONGRESS. How can we expect the senate to see if what Detroit does is on the up and up, when they pass themselves raises -- on the tax payers backs?! The battle cry in 1776 was "No taxation without representation!"

Funny -- I don't think the modern state of affairs at Congress is what our founding fathers were thinking about when they made that above statement.

PLEASE -- I urge you -- call, write, do what you can to let your Senators and Representatives know that they need to take a pay CUT, and NOT a pay raise in 2009! Or we will vote in others who WILL listen! And then, you need to tell all those on your e-mail lists, your address books, your rolodexes and urge others to do the same. Tell Congress that We the People have HAD ENOUGH! Now is the time to take action.

Let American Ingenuity Shine Once more...

So the "Big 3" have made their second appearance at Congress, hats in hands, asking the American public for money, while it has been reported in news media that the average auto worker takes home almost 78 dollars an hour. First time they appeared, they arrived in private jets. Second time, we heard how they would only take home a dollar a year in pay, AND they arrived in hybrid cars. What is going to be done to change the situation? Make more hybrid cars! The hybrid cars are priced so high, that's it's not worth it -- you might as well buy the gas-eater, because you won't get your money's worth out of the hybrids. That's the way I've been understanding things.... I could be wrong.


I know this may sound gross as an idea (I say this because when I stated this in my vehicle, my teen-age son yelled, "EWW, that's GROSS!"), but why are we not looking at items that are considered waste products and try, instead to turn these products into sources of fuel? Take urine, for example... there are ions in urine that produce charges. Why are we not trying to figure out a safe way to utilize our own personal waste to operate our vehicles? Instead of telling our children, "Make sure you empty your bladder before we go," we could give them a big old bottle of water and tell them to hold it until we're on the road! Isn't there a way that any impurities could be burned off -- you know, in case someone has a sickness like AIDS or something like that -- by a vehicle running on urine power? Imagine the water that would be saved from not flushing this down our septic systems! Why is no one looking at solutions such as this? I assure you I would buy a car that ran on urine power!

I don't want the "same-old, same-old." America is a country known for inventing marvelous things that aided society. We are the land of the telegraph, the steamship, the Pony Express, the airplane, baseball and basketball, the telephone, the electric light; we're the land that actually discovered oil in the first place -- in Titusville, PENNSYLVANIA, of all places -- not a desert. When are we going to start putting our heads together and utilize that "good old American ingenuity" that we are known for, instead of holding our necks out and our mouths open for the government to feed us with our own tax money? Come on, America -- let's get rolling, again! Let's use this economic turmoil as a time to let the humble inventor to shine once again! I know we can do it. I pray we can do it.

Welcome to Christmas, 2008

I've always wished to do certain things in my life... like hang-gliding, basking in the ocean, getting on stage and singing. Some things I've actually accomplished with my life, other things -- nah. The other day, I got the chance to participate in an activity that I never planned on -- nor ever plan on taking part in again -- Black Friday.

We have some very dear friends who travel hours on end to visit us for the Thanksgiving holiday. I proceed to make home-made ice cream, pumpkin and apple pies -- the works. And every year they have awakened early the next day to venture out into the various venues to find -- the BIG bargains.

I have never been all that interested in facing scores of people just to try to obtain that one item for a few bucks less than retail. However, my hard-to-buy-for teenage son noticed an ad in the paper and said, "Hey, Mom -- you know how I said I only wanted money? Well, if I had the money, I'd buy this:" it was one of those rocking seats that allow you to hook up with a sound system. It was being offered at a savings of fifty dollars. I decided to go.

My husband knows I'm a night-owl; I HATE rising super early. He offered to go to the store to pick up this item; I was planning on picking up some hamburger, and possibly a gift for him, so I said that I'd go. So, I set the clock for 4:15 am, and went to bed.

In my Pollyanna-ish frame of mind that I sometimes possess, I imagined that I would arrive at 5:00, breeze through the store, get the present for my son, along with the hamburger, milk, and maybe a present for my hubby, and be out of there by 5:30. Au contraire!

A wise woman would have turned tail and run. I should have known when I saw the loaded parking lot. I never knew so many people lived in our town! The place was packed; it reminded me of those old science movies from school with those red blood cells travelling through the arteries -- only they all moved quicker than those in this store.

It took me ten minutes to move ten feet towards the electronics -- my initial destination. Then I heard that there were items in the produce section of the store. I asked a worker where the chairs could be found -- yep, you guessed it -- in the produce section. It took me about five minutes to back up to hit the main aisle. Scads of people were milling around, picking up this item and that, shoving them into already over-flowing shopping carts. I almost got caught up in the frenzy, myself, and thought, "Oh, I've GOT to go over there to see what they're all looking at!" Then, sanity was restored to my mind as I remembered that I was only in the store for a few items.

Then, I saw it -- the prize that I was going to bestow upon my son for Christmas. I made my way past a woman who had three of those chairs shoved into her shopping cart. I stopped at the frozen foods, and watched people pick up items that they otherwise would not even give a second glance, but because they had "WHILE SUPPLIES LAST" splashed in front of them, they got snatched up like precious treasures. As long as I stayed to the outside perimeter of the store, I could travel rather quickly. When I finally entered back into the fray to try to find the proper line in which to pay for my few items, one person bashed their cart into me without a simple, "Excuse me." However, most people were friendly enough, and some nice conversations were struck up with a few.

I noticed an item on sale that my younger boy mentioned, and encountered a person who liked the price, but had no idea what the item was. It was an airplane and a small, remote-controlled helicopter pack. She looked as though she were buying all things relating to grandchildren; she asked me while holding the gift pack, "What do you think this does?"

As I picked up one, myself, I looked at the outside box, where it said, "Fly indoors". I pointed to that, and said to the lady, "Well, dear, I think this is the way that children can destroy the items in your house that they cannot otherwise reach."

She looked at the box, said, "Hmmm," and gingerly put the box back on the display.

I made it back home -- finally -- sometime around 6:45 (after I made a stop to Sears -- didn't know what to get him there, either), changed back into my night clothes and said, "I will NEVER do that, again!"

"I warned you," my husband replied, "If it were me, I would have turned around and walked out of the store."

"And that's why I went, instead," I retorted, "because I wouldn't give up so easy when it comes to something like this for the children."

No sooner did I get to finally re-shut my eyes, my teenager came into the room, and said, "Uh, Mom, are you going to the store? Oh, never mind." He was mumbling about how he should have set the alarm and awakened me, himself. I just smiled.

Until Saturday. My son, daughter and I went into the store, and saw the same item that I went through the "shadow of the valley of death" to buy. There, taped onto one of the boxes, was a tag: "Special price -- $30.00."

My son just smiled.

Geography can "bee" fun!

Today I was awakened by my second-born who squealed, "Today's the Geography Bee!"

National Geographic hosts a "Geography Bee" that is a nation-wide thing. A homeschool group to which I belong was holding a division of the bee. Whoever wins the local bee's compete against each other in regionals, then it goes to state, then to nationals.

This was my son's first year doing this, so I wasn't expecting the sun, moon, and stars; I only wanted him to come away with the knowledge that he tried his best.

It was funny to hear in the beginning of the "Bee" when the children found out they got an answer right: "YEAH!" "WOO-HOO!" As the bee progressed to harder material, the former cheers turned to "Oh, man!" And, my poor son's face was turning redder and redder, which is what happens when he gets frustrated.

He made it to the semi-finals, where the questions dealt with nothing that he's gone over, yet. From where I was sitting, I saw the tears starting to fill his eyes. I noticed one thing, though; he did not give up trying to answer the questions, even though he didn't have the answers.

I walked over and kissed the back of his head. His eyes were on the prize of the Wal-Mart gift card offered to the first, second, and third place winners, but he realized that dream was about to be shattered as they announced who would go on to the finals.

He smiled, leaned into me and shed some tears. I had him look me square into my eyes, and I told him, "Honey, I want to say that I've never been prouder of you than I am right this moment. You came into this, you gave it your best, and you never gave up. In this life, you'll not always get first prize, but if you try your best, then you've succeeded."

He smiled at me, gave me a kiss on my cheek, then gave me a huge hug. This was one of the best days of our lives together.

Coming Out

In this time when Proposition 8 made it so that homosexuals cannot be married and all of these celebs are coming out, as well as to show and vent their displeasure at the passage to ban gay marriages, I felt the need to come out myself and say the following: I'm STRAIGHT and PROUD of it!

I just wish to ask the Christian community -- just when did it become taboo to stand up for Christ? When did we start acting in an apologetic fashion for speaking the truth found only in the Word?

You know, when I was younger, I could have really cared less if I were popular or not. I dressed the way I felt comfortable, and even though it hurt to be made fun of, I took solace in knowing who I was.

As I've been a pastor's wife, I've noticed that I've started caring more and more and more about what other people think. After all, if the children aren't angels, or if I don't act like the "perfect" preacher's wife, then someone may leave the church, and it'll be all my fault! In my home school group, I was starting to worry about every little thing that someone was saying, because after all, they may leave the group.

I think we as Christians need to stop getting offended at every little thing, and start binding together to fight the big things! When are we going to stand up together and cry out for the unborn? When are we as Christians going to stand up together and fight for families the way that God ordained them? When are we as Christians going to stand up together and fight for the cause of Christ -- period?

God is coming under attack as never before in my recollection. Now I know, God can stand up quite well for Himself. But, Jesus said that if we confess and believe in Him, then He will confess us before the Father. There are signs on buses in Washington, DC, asking, "Why believe in a god -- just be good for goodness' sake." Why aren't people realizing that goodness only comes from GOD, HIMSELF?

You know, if the world turns their back on me, I don't really give a flying fig leaf. I'm calling on the Christian community to take a stand. No more sitting on that proverbial fence. We NEED to somehow get involved, and stand up - yes, stand up for Jesus! We need to come out of our closets of fear, shame, guilt, shyness, and step out to fight for the only One worth living for: our Lord, Jesus Christ.

There's No Place Like Home

Do you remember when Dorothy clicked her heels three times and repeated "There's no place like home" in "The Wizard of Oz" movie (actually, it only happened in the movie and not the book by L. Frank Baum -- there were SO many differences between the movie and the book, such as Dorothy's slippers were silver in the book, and ruby in the movie, but then I'm digressing)? That seemed to be the theme this week around our house.

My husband decided to trim some of the trees bordering our property so that they don't knock down our fence. They're evergreen trees, so as the children and I were dragging them away from my hubby, I got the brilliant idea that I'd have to make a wreath out of the evergreen branches. When I was younger, my mother, brothers, sister and I would walk into the woods on a Sunday -- the day that no hunting was allowed -- and collect branches for our wreaths and trimming for outside. We'd form wire hangers into circles, wrap newspaper around the wire, and then wrap the paper with yarn in which we'd insert the pieces of greenery, until the beautiful shape of a wreath would emerge. Every year Mom would say, "I'll never make wreaths again" -- and the next year we would do the same thing over again the next year.

Well, after littering the floor with evergreen and breaking out, I decided that may this would be my last year of making wreaths with the "real deal."

Then, the day after making the wreath, I went outside by myself. I was praying and surveying the lone maple tree out back, which lost the majority of its leaves, when I noticed the rake sitting nearby. Raking the leaves, a nice pile began to form. The interest of the children was formed and then overflowed outside to see what their mother was up to.

The children wished to jump straight-away into the leaves; I had another idea. I moved the pile, and formed two piles: one was situated at the bottom of the slide, while the other, larger pile formed the perfect landing spot for anyone who decided to jump from the swing. The children were delighted and had the time of their lives. I got out the ever-present camera and recorded the time they were spending in the leaves. Then, I smelled a unforgettable aroma; the smell of burning leaves. A neighbor was burning theirs, but it perfectly blended to remind me of days gone by, when I jumped in huge piles of leaves with my own siblings. There's no place like home.

It's Not about Me

There's a book that has been sitting on my bathroom reading shelf, unopened, for a time. I was going to open it, but never truly did. To everything, however, there is a season. I needed something to read, and saw, "The Purpose Driven Life" by Pastor Rick Warren. So, I'm embarking upon a forty-day journey.

I got a notebook and my Bible and started reading. I liked the first day's reading; in a nutshell, this is what sums up what I've got to grasp and get a hold of: it's NOT about me -- BUT, it's ALL about God.

In the first day's reading, Rick Warren was talking about the Russian novelist, Andrei Bitov. Growing up in a communist country, Bitov never really gave God any thought -- until he became saddened with a sadness so deep it was incomprehensible while riding the subway. One phrase embedded itself in Bitov's mind: Without God life makes no sense. He emerged from the subway train, walked up the steps and into the light of day, as well as the true light of God's perfect will.

God is absolutely amazing!

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We've voted a president into office as a nation. Now, we are called as Christians to pray for our leaders and those in authority over us -- whether we agree with their political views or not. If you are a Christian, then I urge you -- I repeat -- I URGE you to pray that God turns the hearts of those in office to Him, in the name of Jesus, from your town mayors, to the Senate and members of Congress, to the President, to the Supreme Court. Instead of complaining, we need to pray for God's Divine Intervention.

I am reminded by the Word of God where the people said they wanted a change -- they didn't want the judges ruling over them, but rather a king. And God turned them over to their desires -- the people suffered for their choice, but God gives us all this wonderful gift called free will. He has given us all this wonderful gift called free will, and if we as a nation continually turn our backs on Him, then He will give us exactly what we asked for, as can be illustrated in Romans 1:20-32 (nkj):

20 For since the creation of the world His invisible attributes are clearly seen, being understood by the things that are made, even His eternal power and Godhead, so that they are without excuse, 21 because, although they knew God, they did not glorify Him as God, nor were thankful, but became futile in their thoughts, and their foolish hearts were darkened. 22 Professing to be wise, they became fools, 23 and changed the glory of the incorruptible God into an image made like corruptible man--and birds and four-footed animals and creeping things. 24 Therefore God also gave them up to uncleanness, in the lusts of their hearts, to dishonor their bodies among themselves, 25 who exchanged the truth of God for the lie, and worshiped and served the creature rather than the Creator, who is blessed forever. Amen. 26 For this reason God gave them up to vile passions. For even their women exchanged the natural use for what is against nature. 27 Likewise also the men, leaving the natural use of the woman, burned in their lust for one another, men with men committing what is shameful, and receiving in themselves the penalty of their error which was due. 28 And even as they did not like to retain God in their knowledge, God gave them over to a debased mind, to do those things which are not fitting; 29 being filled with all unrighteousness, sexual immorality, wickedness, covetousness, maliciousness; full of envy, murder, strife, deceit, evil-mindedness; they are whisperers, 30 backbiters, haters of God, violent, proud, boasters, inventors of evil things, disobedient to parents, 31 undiscerning, untrustworthy, unloving, unforgiving, unmerciful; 32 who, knowing the righteous judgment of God, that those who practice such things are deserving of death, not only do the same but also approve of those who practice them.

May we fervently pray for our country and for the Lord's touch on this generation!

Lessons from the Lord

I want to turn a page. The major thing I've been wondering is the perpetual "why?" See, when I was younger, we were dirt poor -- heck, the soil was richer than us! We were always in danger of losing our home. One winter, my father chopped every other step of the cellar just to get us some wood to burn in our little wood burner. Most people I grew up with didn't know this, nor the many other things about our home whilst growing up. We had to keep everything a secret. But, there was ONE THING that I learned in all of the hardships we endured while growing up: NEVER GIVE UP.

That's a valuable lesson to learn.

I asked God while showering, WHY did this guy from our church commit suicide? My brain cannot comprehend nor understand it. There are SO many places in the Bible where God says He will supply all our needs according to His riches in glory, that He will forgive us of ALL our transgressions... that He will be our shield and our buckler. His Word is full of SO many promises -- and He is not a man that He should lie.

Either you believe God's Word -- in its entirety -- or you don't.

The Lord let me hear in my mind the voice of Corrie Ten Boom (she appeared at the end of the movie, "The Hiding Place"): "There is no pit so deep, that God is not deeper still."

So I asked of the Lord, "Then why wasn't Jesus in the pit with this fellow?"

"I was," I felt in my spirit, "he just didn't believe I was there."

Then the Lord brought to my mind what happened the day after I discovered this gentleman: I was struck with panic attack upon panic attack. Every fear imaginable hit me, in wave upon wave. I even went to a counselor, and that didn't seem to help. That night, I couldn't go to church; I truly did not know if I could go back again. I stayed home, and was attacked voraciously by the enemy. I called out to God for help, because I honestly felt as though I myself would die from the fear -- or to be taken somewhere like a hospital to help me.

Then, I got the umption to go to Neil Anderson's site -- Freedom in Christ, ministries. I printed out "Who I am in Christ" and looked up the verses in the Bible every verse listed. Then, when I felt the enemy attack again like a flood before I fell asleep, I cried out to the Lord: "Lord, I cannot stand another night like the one before. I need to rest in You. Please let me take Your yoke upon me, and please protect me from the enemy. I need You."

Suddenly, I felt so tired, and I went to bed. I may sound crazy, but that night, I could actually feel and hear the enemy attacking me, like fiery arrows to the head with words of hate, fear and promises of destruction. But in the same respect, I could actually feel and hear a contrasting voice -- one that quoted the Bible and protected me, like a force field-type helmet around my head. Then I heard singing -- the most beautiful singing one could ever imagine. The next day I read an e-mail that I get with encouragement for today, and this was the verse:

The LORD your God is with you, he is mighty to save. He will take great delight in you, he will quiet you with his love, he will rejoice over you with singing." -- Zephaniah 3:17

Back to the shower... after these things were brought to my mind, the Lord really revealed to me what I needed to know about "why." When someone is up against the worst temptations, He DOES give a way of escape. That takes faith in His word. Those who call upon His name WILL be saved... it only takes faith the size of a mustard seed -- and He'll provide the rest.

Part of the solution?

Sometimes I wish I could be a different "me". I know that sounds silly. On the outside, I sometimes seem vivacious, yet sometimes, inwardly, I'd rather be hiding in a corner. I don't really dislike myself, sometimes I wish that I could have the perfect household, where everyone gets along 100% of the time, and where we don't have to worry about this or that. But, if that were the case, then we'd be living in a perpetual episode of "Leave it to Beaver." Then again, not everything went 100 % smoothly on "Leave it to Beaver."

In the Word, it says that we are to rejoice when people revile us, but I'll admit -- that's the last thing I want to do when things get said. I usually want to go hide in a corner and not come out. Sometimes, I'd prefer to stay in my own little corner of the world, where I can't be hurt by people who I've reached out to in love.

We were watching "Nim's Island" tonight as a family -- which was a very good thing. While my mind soared with Nim as she ran through the jungle and swam in the ocean, and did the adventurous things she did, I found that I understood Alex's character. As a person deals with the world, and becomes hurt by it, it's easier to care from a distance, wishing to live out adventures in your imagination.

But the world is out there -- and the Lord called us to be a light IN this world, while not being OF this world. I often wonder if I'm truly making a difference. I want to make a difference in the lives of those I come in contact with.

A history teacher of mine -- Mr. Sunburg -- said something very profound when I was in high school, and I never forgot it. He said, "If you're not part of the solution, then you're part of the problem."

Since then, I've tried to live up to that. When I see a need, I try my best to step up to the plate, because if I don't do anything to help a situation, then I believe, based upon what Mr. Sunberg said, then I'm part of the problem as to why something positive does not come to pass.

It's something I've wrestled with. Some things, I've discovered, are not in my capacity to fix -- some things are out of my grasp of comprehension. I'm discovering that day by day, I've got to rely upon one person only -- and it's not myself. I have to trust that God is in every single day -- no matter if it's good or bad -- and I have to resign myself to the knowledge that people are not God's robots -- they have been equipped with that nice little ditty called "free will."

It's free will for someone to yell at a person who cuts them off at an intersection. It's free will to look at shows or listen to music that is not edifying. It's free will to spread gossip about someone else. It's free will to choose to argue back with a parent who exercises their free will to loudly complain about how much time you spend in the bathroom. I cannot control people -- I don't have that ability. I can exercise my free will to pray for my friends and enemies. So, if I pray and ask for guidance, and try to interact in a loving manner to others around me, and trust in the Lord with all of my being, then I AM being part of the solution.

Time to allow Jesus to help me to be the hero of my own story.

All I Want....

When I was younger, I remember thinking my mother was crazy. Every Mother's Day, Birthday, Christmas, Easter... you know, any major event where any thoughts of gifts are concerned, my mother would announce, "I don't want you to spend any money on me for any gifts. Now, I don't want to go away without you kids. ALL I WANT is to have a nice, peaceful day with NO FIGHTING. That's all."

"What?! Who in their right mind WOULDN'T want presents?!"

We'd buy what we could (chocolate covered cherries, affordable-for-children perfume) and fight anyway.

Christmas is coming. In this time of economic insecurity, I told the children what I've been telling them anytime there's any major even where there's the possibility of presents being presented to me: "I don't want you children to go out and buy anything for me. And I don't want to go away or anything -- I want to be with you children -- I just DON'T want ANY FIGHTING."

I heard my children talking to each other a little while after I made my announcement: "What is the MATTER with Mom? Who in their right mind WOULDN'T want PRESENTS?"

They'll find out when they're older... Mom wasn't so crazy after all!

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We went away for a few days. It was good to be in the mountains and walk along trails which led to trickleing streams. I actually got a few good photos of the children. We needed to ask God for His direction. I cried alot of tears, sighed alot of appreciative sighs at the sights, sounds and smells of the woods, and I've prayed alot of prayers and and read alot of His Word. In this seeking of God's direction, I'm trying to learn that it's not MY will, but HIS will be done. God directed me to Timothy quite a bit. I've been dealing with hurt, confusion, anger, fear -- and I know that deep down, God is in the midst of everything. I'm learning that to have a testimony, one has to go through a test. I ask for God to guide me daily as I rest in Jesus. May He guide YOU, whoever may be reading this.

All I want is to be the best follower of Christ that I can be, and prayerfully do my best by the people who intersect their lives with mine.

The Smallest Prayer

The Smallest Prayer
by Grace E. Easley

God hears the very smallest prayer,
Nor sends a cross too great to bear,
And though we stumble now and then,
He always picks us up again.

There is no moment day or night,
When we are hidden from His sight,
No wall too high nor door too stout,
To keep His loving care without.

His ways are wiser than our own,
His strength remains when ours is gone,
We must not doubt nor question why,
He sends the answers by and by.

And this I know within my heart,
All darkness fades and shadows part,
And that sometime, somehow, somewhere,
God hears and answers every prayer!

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My aunt seems to send me things JUST when I need it. I'm not talking about the Maxine cartoons, or those funny photos with the crazy animals.... (even though I must admit, I love those silly animal photos), nor even those quizzes that show how intelligent I am (even though I love those, too). No, it's those wonderful verses or pieces of Biblical wisdom that get sent to me by her when I'm thinking I need some of God's wisdom, or when I'm going through something.

She sent me the above poem. It's just right, when I'm praying yesterday about dealing with the aftermath of all of this junk that happened and also dealing with a child with an ear infection. I remember praying, "Lord -- it says in your Word that if a child asks his father for bread that he won't give them a stone. You say that You take care of Your children better than those on earth. Well, God," I whispered through tears, "I'm your daughter.... please take care of me, I need You so badly in the midst of this storm."

I read a mailing from Voice of the Martyrs -- then I realize what praising God through the storm is all about, and I know that my God will not leave me nor forsake me.

God is listening,,, to the smallest prayer. Thank you, Jesus!

Blessed be the Name of the Lord

This past weekend, the family had to get a small break from all of the pain associated with our beloved parishioner. As we find out new things, we find out we didn't know the depths of what was going on in this person's life. I know alot of people think that Pentecostal churches are controlling, but we truly aren't. And no organization on this planet can help people if they don't open up and share what's going on.

At any rate, We went to this free family-friendly pic-nic that a person who's running for a county office held for the community. There was rock-climbing, a bungee run, hot dogs, hamburgers, chips and soda, to name a few. My hubby noticed there wasn't something for the littlest attendees, so he asked if we could go to the church and bring the small bouncy-ride for the youngest. They were agreeable and so my hubby went off with my eldest.

The children were having fun, and I felt kind of out of sorts. Then I talked to a couple who had met on the internet, and hearing their story made me smile. Then a bluegrass band started playing. I moved closer and closer, because I'm a huge lover of most every musical style. Then a guy came up and sang with a twang like you wouldn't believe. After he was done, I cracked, "So do you let anybody get up there and sing?"

To my surprise, they called me on it, and had me go up and sing. While I admire bluegrass, I don't KNOW songs by heart in the bluegrass genre. They asked me what I'd like to sing. I chose "Amazing Grace." I've sung before -- but nervousness hit me, as this style is not my normal singing style. But it came out, and people clapped. The band asked me to do some more stuff. I sang part of a song by a bluegrass band called The Sullivans -- "At the Feet of God." It felt... good.

I know I am allowed to feel good -- in spite of what all happened. God did not allow me to see what I saw to hurt me -- I have to learn something. I have to bless the Lord at all times. I have to still say no to my children when I know it is not good for them -- and appreciate those gifts called my children more than I have. I have to know I cannot save all people, and not be bitter that I cannot. I have to still stay open and honest with others about myself, my quirks, and my struggles. I need to keep an open line at all times to Jesus, and not let the evil one cloud my judgement of who I am in Him. In this world where everyone wants to have their 15 minutes of fame and where celebrities are given more of a voice than they ought to have, I must to teach my children to be content at all times wherever they may be -- and rejoice that even if they are not known to the vast masses, that they CAN rejoice that their names are written in the Lamb's book of life.

Blessed be the Name of the Lord!

Please read Pastor Ronnie's blog

Today is better than yesterday. Yesterday, I was a mess, and went to see a counselor. You see, on Tuesday evening, I was driving a parishioner home, and when we arrived, we came upon her husband. There were things going on in his life that we did not know about. He took his life. I tried to resuscitate him, after getting instructions from 911. I got cut off and called our neighbor next to the church, who is training to be a registered nurse. She came over to help. It was too late. The hospital tried their best. We all tried our best. I would not wish this experience on my worst enemy. The only one restoring my soul is God, Himself. I was talking to Marie when she commented about the photo on a previous posting. I went on there, myself, and saw this blog by Pastor Ronnie. Thank you, Pastor Ronnie -- you have no idea who I am, as I do not know you -- but God knew that I would read your blog and get some solace. Thank you. Please pray for his widow and his parents. I can't write anymore today.

Pastor Ronnie's Blog: YOU CAN MAKE IT

Pastor Ronnie's Blog: YOU CAN MAKE IT

Where's my Green Thumb?

I grew up among flora and fauna. The place where my mother and aunts grew up (one uncle died as a teen, and the older boys finished growing up there) was my wonderful wonderland. I started growing up at that very same place, but my family bought a house on a lot down and across the alley, while retaining the former house, and then the old house burned down. I absolutely loved playing in "the old yard"; it was my refuge and a place of escape and escapades.

The old cement slab which was the front porch remained intact, and there I would pretend I was a singer, dancer, whatever I wanted to be that day, I became it on that old cement slab. I sat on that slab and watched the multitude of animals playing. For awhile, the cellar of the old house was still intact, and so my brothers and I would jump down into the cellar and climb back out using the rocks that formerly lined the cellar walls. I'd have little pic-nic tea-parties with my best friend, Jill. Many times I'd walk arm and arm with my beloved Grandmother; she'd talk to me about the old days and show me what my grandfather planted. He planted quite a lot, and obviously had a very green thumb, considering that he died at a young age of 44, and most of the things he planted were still around (some things are still there -- so a part of him remains). I can't begin to say the amount of days we played up in that old yard, but the times spent in that yard were the best times of my childhood.

My grandmother showed me a beautiful white rose and told me how, when my grandfather planted the rose bush that I so greatly admired, the roses were a deep red. We walked to the apple trees that my siblings and I so loved to climb; she told me how he not only planted the trees, but grafted in other types of apples onto the tree. I swear to you, there are no trees on this planet that even compare to the apples that I eagerly ate from that tree whilst growing up.

My grandmother was no slouch when it came to having a green thumb -- she could plant a garden and weed it like nobody's business. It's my understanding that she planted the numerous daffodils that emerged beautifully from the ground with bursts of gold to signal the beginning of spring every year.

My mother inherited that green thumb -- and I bet my aunts did, too. Every year we'd plant a garden. It was an amazing experience as Dad would get out the big old rotor-tiller; the raging sound was almost deafening to our ears, but we stayed to watch the dirt fly here and there. Then Mom would push the hand plow -- it had a huge metal wheel on the front, and closer to the back was the small till which dug the dirt into the rows into which we'd plant the seeds -- it was an antique, but was faithfully used every year until we stopped growing a garden together. We had house plants galore, and we spent much more time outside than we did inside. Anyone who knows me knows that my family had more than its share of problems, but looking at the times we spent growing things, it really could have been worse.

When we got this house, I was sure I would have that green thumb, too. I told my friend Marie yesterday while her sweet son was riding bikes with some of the children that I seriously think I have a brown thumb. Who knows, maybe I have a light khaki thumb. I've planted tulip and other bulbs -- the moles think they're candy. So, I basically keep planting daffodil bulbs, as the moles hate those. I planted blueberry bushes -- my husband thought they were weeds and cut them down, along with the white grapes I planted, the strawberries and some evergreen trees. My eldest boy killed my rose bush with a lawn mower and decided to hack away at my concord grapes because the vines got in his way. I think our first dog thought I was playing a demented form of "fetch, because, she'd watch me plant stuff just to dig it up. The next door neighbor wanted to thank us for doing his lawn while he was moving in, and so mistakenly weed-whacked some of my plants out front; we still love him because he and his wife are great people. I told him he officially belongs to my family now, because EVERYBODY loves to kill my plants!

This year, I decided to contact Michigan Bulb. I ordered all kinds of stuff to plant out front. You see, it was part of a deal that my husband struck up with me. Last year, a different neighbor moved in down the street and proceeded to yank out all kinds of wonderful plant-life -- in the middle of July. I asked both my husband and the new neighbor if I could try to rescue them. They both didn't care. Here's the deal -- I didn't realize that most plant-life will not survive transplanting if the roots of those plants have been sitting out in the hot end-of-July sun. Our front yard looked like something that "The Addams Family" would have treasured beyond belief. I'm sure everyone in the neighborhood had a hearty laugh at the lady faithfully watering the brownest bushes in the county. My husband begged me to allow him to yank them out. Then he said, "Honey -- if you allow me to yank them out, I'll let you order whatever you want from Michigan Bulb." That sealed the deal -- I yanked out every huge, dead bush that "adorned" the front yard, myself.

So in the spring I ordered a vast amount of plant life. I checked the front porch every day for my package, like a child awaiting a much anticipated Christmas gift. Eureka -- they arrived! They were awesome and delivered beautifully; I planted the items right away -- at least right after showing my cool neighbor lady with the solid green thumb. I KID YOU NOT -- only TWO days after this, a huge storm hit our area -- complete with high winds -- and blew one of my plants away. Michigan Bulb replaced it. A serious lack of rain hit the area. Michigan Bulb said they'll replace the rose bushes that up and died. Rabbits have attacked the bushes that survived the rain and the dry weather. Michigan Bulb has said just let them know which ones don't survive, and they'll help me.

The only thing which keeps driving me onward toward my elusive "green thumb status" is that most of the apple trees I've planted have not keeled over and died. However, just the other day, Michigan Bulb sent me a check to cover for some different items I bought because they don't have any more in stock -- hopefully they haven't given up on my green thumb dreams!

Wha' happened?

My house has turned into a mess, plain and simple; HOWEVER, the entire family worked on the house today, which was a very good thing. How did it get that way in the first place?

You see, first I was busy about the business of homeschooling. This year has become a challenge for my second-born, and this year has become a challenge for me, to the point of almost pulling the plug on my endeavors. In the course of trying to help this child with one subject, the other child with that subject, and still a third on yet another subject, while trying to learn a few things of my own,,, well,,, let's say I feel like I'm stuck in twelve inches of snow, revving my tires and going nowhere. Don't get me wrong -- my children are learning. I'd just like to have an easier time of it.

"No, my son, you do not look like a teen-age dork. While you're at it, here, son -- do your own laundry; you'll be on your own in two years."

"Wow, little girlie-girl, what a wonderful snowflake you made -- now clean up the remains."

"How quickly you ate that candy bar -- now pick the wrapper up off of the floor and put it where it belongs."

"Baby - no- baby -- stop that -- baby -- DON'T CHOKE THE DOG! Honey -- don't use your sister's toothbrush. AH -- DON'T PUT HER TOOTHBRUSH IN THE TOILET!"

I should be thin, with all of the running around I do after the children. But I look at my middle-age spread that has covered more space than I ever cared to imagine, and wonder if I'm dreaming the impossible dream in hoping that I will ever attain a figure that's just SLIGHTLY a shadow of what it used to be.

Thank the Lord above that He's given me a wonderful guy, who, like Him, looks upon what's going on inside of my heart, rather than how well I look on the outside!

How else did I allow my house to get away from me? Well, our church had a fall fest, and I was working until four in the morning some mornings designing and printing flyers, posters, et. al. , writing letters to donors and sponsors, writing articles to send to the media outlets. Some nights I was too exhausted to make supper for the family. And then the day of the much planned-out Fall Fest.... rain, rain, and more rain. It didn't stop some people from coming. And God has REALLY been impressing upon me lately that He wants me to look more upon the hearts, than the numbers of people who may or may not come to these festivities.

He's let me know that I'm not tending to the garden of my heart in the way He'd like me to. I've allowed some weeds to sprout up here and there. You know what they are -- fear, worry, envy, doubt.... there are a few others. They all take away from who one is in Christ. The funny thing is, in the same way that a house can get away from you, or that weeds infest one's garden, those little items that keep us from being all that God wants us to be never come upon us quickly, nor do they sprout up overnight.

I read out of the Old Testament, the Psalms, the Proverbs and the New Testament last night to the family. I usually read out of a children's Bible, but last night, I read out of my own to them, as this spoke to me and I wanted to share this with them; even though they have no real idea what all of the economic and other worldly struggles are really about, they can feel something is up -- and it's frightening them. The oldest does have an idea, and it frightens him, too.

I will now leave you with a small section of what I shared with them, out of Philippians 4:1-23: "...stand fast in the Lord, beloved... Rejoice in the Lord always. Again I will say, rejoice!... Be anxious for nothing, but in everything by prayer and supplication, with thanksgiving, let your requests be made known to God; and the peace of God, which surpasses all understanding, will guard your hearts and minds through Christ Jesus. Finally, brethren, whatever things are true, whatever things are noble, whatever things are just, whatever things are pure, whatever things are lovely, whatever things are of good report, if there is any virtue and if there is anything praiseworthy -- meditate on these things. The things which you learned and received and heard and saw in me, these do, and the God of peace will be with you."

Amen to that. And may the God of peace be with you who read my words.

Joy and Pain

I have to speak with utter joy regarding my youngest. Don't get me wrong -- I honestly have no favorites. Each child of mine is precious to me and has a special place in my heart -- conversely, each child has their own unique habit that drives me nuts! I call each and every one "my favorite." With this last child, who I know is my last (unless God Himself wishes to reverse effects of surgery), I've learned to grasp and cherish every nuance.

For instance, this past Sunday, I was teaching Kid's Church. My youngest goes with me almost everywhere, and as per his custom, he came to class with me. At the beginning of the class, he somehow fashioned a dog out of flat pieces of sticky foam. He proceeded to disrupt the class by continuously saying, "Arf, arf, arf, arf, arf...", well, you get the idea. The other children were giving this little bundle of MY joy "the eyeball".

I looked at him and said, "Oh, puppy's asleep." He flipped the "dog" down onto the table and proceeded to make a snoring sound! Everybody started laughing -- he found his audience, and played it up to perfection. Suddenly, he made another sound, then started it all over again: "Arf, arf, arf, arf,,,," well, again -- you get the idea. I looked at him, gave him a look and said, 'Puppy REALLY needs his sleep, honey."

Down went the "dog", cue the snoring, and then, I finally got a grasp of the sound he made: "Ir, ir-ir, ir-irrrr!" What a rooster! What barking that followed! I asked my favorite child (the second born one) to let me borrow a specific toy of his. I proceeded to make my own noise: that of a race car, as I ran over the "dog". "Uh-oh, doggie's dead."

My favorite child (the babe of the family) looked at me amidst the laughter of the children, looked at the children, and then he looked at me again. I braced myself for the sound that only competes with that of a siren. That didn't happen, thank God! No, instead we heard yet again: "Arf, arf, arf, arf....", well, yet again, YOU get the idea!

As I write this, he has placed his bicycle helmet on his head, and has been using a plastic hanger from Wal-Mart as his handlebars, as he's riding an imaginary MOTORCYCLE, while forcing my favorite child (my daughter) to hang onto him, and run behind him as he VROOM-VROOOM'S all over the house. Earlier today, he placed a washcloth on his head and exclaimed that he was a "PIRATE". Following his time of conquering the stuffed animal shark which sat in the middle of the living room, he became a monkey, pointed to my favorite child (my first born) and said, "You a tree, I a monkey!" The other day, he "drove" to work in the back yard; he made a point to kiss me good bye, tell me he was off to work and that he loved me. He "worked" in the sand box for a time, and then burst through the door, shouting, "I'm HO-OME!"

I rushed up to him, gave him a big kiss, and said, "I've missed you!" He glanced up at me, wiped off the kiss and said, "I a dog -- arf, arf, arf,,,," well, you,, uh ,,, know by now.

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Now onto the thing that pains me. I cannot get over how vicious the attacks are hurling during this recent election. Now, I know that political insults have occurred since the early days of politics: a prime example is when Grover Cleveland was running for president, and it was discovered that he fathered a child out of wedlock. The cry during the campaign was "Maw, Maw, where's my Paw?" The Cleveland Campaign was no less discreet, and spread the word about a controversial statement that his opponent's friend had said. Because of gossip, he almost did not win the election; however, because of innuendo, Cleveland won the election, and the answer to the call, "Maw, Maw, where's my Paw?" was "He's off to the White House, haw, haw, haw!"

In another thought, everyone should know that actors involved in politics can be a lethal mix: just look at John Wilkes-Booth, the actor who assassinated President Lincoln.

Now, let's move forward. I don't know about most people, but I've heard nasty stuff on both sides. I honestly don't know what Sarah Palin has done to arouse the complete and utter hatred shown by the Entertainment set, and it pains me that people can be so outright vicious to someone who by all appearances is an honest and decent person. First we have Whoopi Goldberg stating on a site that she's "afraid" of Sarah Palin. Then we hear how Matt Damon is "afraid" of a woman who believes in a young earth. SO? To most people who study science and the Bible, that makes total and utter sense. I'll have to write a future blog on science and the Bible. Then, we get Tina Fey (I have to admit, that I laughed hysterically during the last sketch featuring the Palin/Biden "debate".) with her thoughts on Sara Palin.

Next, we get inundated with Sara Berhardt (I thought she fell off of the face of the earth), who says that Sara Palin should be "gang-raped" by guys in NYC. Now, we have Madonna, who changes worse than a chameleon to fit her purpose (does anyone remember her matching drapery-inspired dress and shoes complete with an up do and glasses to read her children's book to the children?), yelling that if Sara Palin comes to "her city" (which one -- London, New York City, or the town she originally hailed from) that she will kick a certain part of Sara Palin's anatomy. Sara Palin's accent, her mothering abilities, her intelligence, and so much more have been attacked to a degree that far exceeds normal politics.

I find this talk completely unnecessary and only divisive to our country.

I keep wondering, how can Matt Damon, Madonna, and all of these types tell ME what is best for me? If they want to do something to help this country, then why don't they give back ten million bucks a film to their adoring public, instead plopping down 200 dollars for a onesie?" When did being pro-life and being a Christian become a point of being a detriment to getting elected? We were founded as one nation under GOD. It pains me to see that those who love life -- all life -- are getting raked over the proverbial coals. The normal person cannot afford botox, private jets, private nannies, et al. Celebrities don't speak for me. And I wish they'd stop.

IF these politicians want to help the deficit, then why don't they stop spending money tearing each other down, and use those hundreds of millions of dollars raised to help out those in need? Hillary Clinton is 50 million dollars in debt due to her failed election bid.

The internet is being used as a battlefield, where rumor and innuendo are treated as fact. There's something wrong, here.

Personally, I think that instead of hearing all of this garbage by famous people who wouldn't know the price of a gallon of gas if they rode past the gas station in their limos, and extra commentary by pundits who are clearly in favor of one particular candidate, each candidate should be able to to have a certain amount of time on national television to make their case for why they should be elected WITHOUT any attacks on the other person. There should not be any extra commentary restating what that candidate "said", and why we should or should not believe that candidate. All that should be stated are facts, not this extra garbage -- when I learned about news, it was stressed that we needed to be balanced in our reporting -- we were not allowed to air our personal views.

Obama has stated from the beginning that electing McCain would be like electing Bush for four more years. Anyone who knows about McCain and Bush know that there is no love lost between the two, because they are so different. Now questions are being brought up about Obama's past associations, and the "FOUL" cries are going up left and right. I guess it depends upon who is making the accusations.

You know what I really want from these candidates? I just want to know where they stand on the issues -- I want them both to cut through the rhetoric, the name calling, the bashing, and to finally state in exact terms what they wish to do to try to improve this country -- without playing the "blame game". Instead, everyone gets their idea of politics from Comedy Central and Saturday Night Live, and rely upon other people to do their thinking for them.

Too bad that no one is calling upon the name of the LORD.

What a Clean House you have!

I teach the teen class on Wednesday nights, and the teen room was cluttered from the Fall Fest that our church recently had. So the teens and I played some music and cleaned it out. Why is that important? It happened to fit in perfectly with my lesson with the teens: Make room for Jesus.

I asked the teens to compare their regular house with their "house" -- their bodies, the temple of Christ. There was the typical joking, but then I hope I touched them with this illustration as to why you should fill your life with things of Christ.

I somehow brought up the story in the Bible where Jesus talks about casting a demon out of a person. Well, that demon just hovers around, looking for a body to inhabit. No luck, so it goes back to its original house and discovers that house empty. It goes out and gathers seven other demons and inhabit that empty house.

When I first read that in the Bible, I explained, I was upset, because I didn't understand the use in casting a demon out of a person or asking sin to leave my life, if I'm only going to end up worse! Then God pointed out one... important... word... in that teaching by Jesus. The demon found the house EMPTY. That means, plain and simple, that the person did not fill up the house with Jesus; so that means there was no one to guard the door of that person's heart.

Pointing around the room, I said, "You can clean up this entire room, take out the seats, the tables, the wall treatments -- even the electrical outlets and lights. And that room will be clean -- spotless, even. But -- that clean, empty room will not be of any use to anyone. That's the same with your personal house. If you turn your backs from doing the wrong things, and clean all of that out of your lives, but don't fill it up and make room in your heart for Jesus, then what use are you to the kingdom of God? I urge you to fill up your lives with Jesus, and He'll give you a purpose, and He will protect you from the one on the other side of the door, knocking to try to get you to do what you should not be doing."

I had them pretend our classroom was a "cleaned house", but one that has Jesus living in it. I pretended I was Jesus at the door, while they knocked on the outside door. I wouldn't let them in. I hope they got the point. So,,, what state is your heart in? Personally, I'm praying to help me take out bitterness, unforgiveness and replace it with love, gentleness, true forgiveness and more of Him.

Sacrifices of the heart

I took a few days off of blogging, as Sundays are busy for me, and yesterday, I got caught up playing a game on the internet. I do that sometimes to shut down my mind. It's always going with different ideas, and so I'll play a game on agame.com to wind it all down.

So I get back on and hear such horrific news about a man in Los Angeles who shot and killed his entire family -- mother-in-law included -- and himself. He's been unemployed for some time, and I guess became despondent over the recent financial difficulties facing the country. Another man in Nebraska gave up his NINE children at a hospital so that they could be taken care of. My heart cries for these poor souls who feel as though there is no hope!

It reminds me of stories my mother and grandmother told me. My mother's father died when Mom was young, yet my Gram kept the house running and everything together. Numerous people -- even Gram's own sisters - told Gram to give up my mother and her underage siblings to an orphanage. Gram refused and said that she would trust the Lord would help her, as long as she'd try her best. He provided for Gram and her family. My grandmother came from a wealthy family with a maid and all, yet she learned to plant gardens, to can, to sew and to work jobs that her sisters thought were beneath a woman of breeding. My grandmother always told me what ever I faced in life, that if I did my part, God would do His. I learned tenacity from that woman, and even though she died at the ripe old age of 95, I miss her every single day.

At any rate, my mother used to tell me of a family that lived down the street from them who faced similar circumstances. The father of the family died, leaving the lady of the house alone to take care of her children. She later gave up the children to an orphanage, but not before getting an assurance that she herself could work at the orphanage; the children all grew up and understood the sacrifices their mother made.

To get through this hard time for the entire world, we must all make some sacrifices; HOWEVER, I urge anyone who may stumble upon this blog to NEVER GIVE UP. Please, do not think for one millisecond that suicide is the answer to this problem! NOTHING is so bad that you have to consider suicide as the answer --and I know, I've been broke, forsaken, unloved. You name it, I've been through the gamut. Even as a pastor's wife, it gets so very lonely. HOWEVER, I am NEVER alone.

And if you're reading this, and am downhearted, then my friend, I urge you that instead of giving up, give it all over to the Lord Jesus Christ. It says in His word: "Take my yoke upon you, for my burden is light." And He's so right. I've lived without Christ, and that's when life seemed the least worth living -- even though I had money at that time. Do I face troubles? Every single day. However, knowing that everything comes together for good to them who love the Lord, knowing that NOTHING shall separate me from the love of Christ Jesus, knowing that there's a better day coming if I trust that He will give me what I need, all helps me to keep strong in the turmoils that beset us all.

We need to stop thinking that money is the answer to our problems and realize that money is just a tool to help us help others. In the words of Corrie Ten Boom: "There is no pit too deep that God is not deeper still." God WILL help you out of the pit -- you must dare to have hope in the midst of hopeless times.

My little business

I'm having fun writing a blog... I never thought I'd get into this, but I've been pushing that little button at the top of the blogs - "next blog", and I've discovered some cool places. There's somebody who's a "scrabookaholic" and there's a wonderful photographer out there in blogger space, whose brides end up getting pregnant -- must be in the water, he says. It's amazing how many different ideas and how much creativity is out there! Wow!

I was thinking about how people talk about their business, so I guess I have that ability to speak about mine. I have a printing/tee-shirt printing and design business. It all got started not so long after 9/11.

A year previously, my husband got hit head-on by a person who was talking on their cell phone. My hubby actually died three times on the way to the hospital, ended up in the hospital for 28 days, and now cannot walk like he used to. He can't run and is in pain every single day. This all happened while I was pregnant with my beautiful daughter. It was hard, but our church where we were living at the time was absolutely wonderful, and through God's help, we pulled through it all.

At any rate, I was working as a pharmacy tech at the time, and not having a very nice time with the new manager, when 9/11 happened. A very frightening occurrence, being that we lived a mere hour's train ride away from the city, and I had close relatives who live in the city. It was a horrendous time for our country. I was glued to the television screen, tears streaming down my face. It was like everything was raining down at once: my husband's accident, the birth of our daughter, my having to work away from her to get a pittance of money into the home, then the attack on our country -- it all rained down hard, like a torrent that flooded my innermost being.

Even in the midst of our darkest sorrows, the Lord is faithful and just to shine through the darkness and shine the light to a better tomorrow.

In that moment of sorrow, I used some photos, used text of my own, and created a shirt to show our support and sadness about what happened at The World Trade Center. I bought a five-pack of tee-shirt transfer paper at my store, and ironed on the design with my household iron. I placed the design on shirts for my family, and we wore the shirts to church that week. Someone asked me where I bought the shirt. When I told the lady that I created the shirt, she said that maybe I had found what God had in store for me to do, so that I could stay at home to take care of my children and husband, and make money doing it.

I never sold that first design, as I would have felt horrible making money from such a disaster. I remember saying that if God wanted me to design shirts, He'd have to give me some ideas, AS WELL AS teach me how to be an artist, as I never considered myself to be an artist as much as I considered myself to be a writer and voice-over whiz.

Suddenly, ideas started coming to me -- waves and waves of ideas. Before I married my husband, I was a copywriter and a voice-over artist; I had never considered myself an artist -- besides, my sister could paint and draw circles around me, as she's a "real" artist. But there they were, what I believe were God-given ideas, so I started drawing those ideas, coloring them in on the computer, and started selling some shirts here and there. Most asked me to create something special for them. I've learned quite a bit, yet there's so much to learn.

Since 2001, I've added full-color printing, utilizing my high-end photocopier. I've done memory cards, business cards and brochures, letterheads, ticket books, Christmas cards, and so much more. Just this week, I got a spiral binder machine. I've still got a long way to go to get where I want in this business world (for instance, I'd love to have a web-site), but with God's help, all will work together for good.

I don't "excel" at some things

Sometimes, I don't like that Proverbs 31 woman. I try to be like her, but I don't quite get to be that woman of grace, beauty and brains. I write this as I sit in my sweat pants and bare feet. The Proverbs 31 woman would NEVER be caught at the computer in her bare feet! I bet if that Proverbs 31 woman were alive today, she'd be able to handle practically anything...

Have a dinner party for 300? No problem! The house is spotless, anyway, she's so perfect! I noticed in the Word why she's so perfect -- she has servants! One of my friends (I believe it was Marie) stated, "Don't forget, YOU have servants, too -- Whirlpool, Hoover, Frigidaire..." At any rate, I bet if that Proverbs 31 woman were here, she'd be able to handle mail merging with Excel - no problem at all!

My wonderful hubby is president of the local business chamber, and the secretary had trouble with mail merging from excel. My husband brought home the list, determining to help her complete the task. Hours later, he STILL hadn't merged anything. As a wife who tries to be a helper to her husband, I volunteered to find out more about excel. I looked up this wonderful little FREE course on the internet, and got to work. Nothing about mail merging. RATS! All the while, my children (who usually run as soon as I get a moment away from them during homeschool hours) wouldn't stop hovering around me. "Hey, Mom - I got done with my handwriting... what next?"

The only thing of importance I've figured out in this merging search is that the key to my children becoming eager beavers during school hours is to get busy on something important for either my husband or myself.

I did find out that I had to label the cells to create a mail merge, but that's as far as I could get; the pressure to have my daughter read to me and my son to stop digging into the potato chips outweighed the merging of the mail, and I apologetically passed the torch back to my hubby.

Within fifteen minutes, while my daughter was reading about a crying dog, fox, rabbit and boy, my husband burst forth from the office and proclaimed, "You almost had it, Becky -- the mail merge is now complete!"

Victory is ours! The potato chips were saved (only to be stolen later by the baby of the family), the children got their schooling in, and even though I didn't completely save the day (I forgot to put on my "Supermom cape"), there's a certain amount of pleasure in knowing that I had a small part in helping my hubby get the job done.

Chuck Bently has it on the money

As a homeschooling mother, I usually don't get to listen to the radio during the day. Goodness, I'll be lucky if I get to change into nice clothes, because I usually hit the ground running, because if I sleep in too late, my children, who could be named, "Brooding Storm", "Hurricane Category 4", "Ms. Tornado", and "Little Mister Typhoon" could make me rue the fact that I did so! But then, that's a whole other post for this blog.....

At any rate, I was on my way to my first ever appointment at a chiropractor's, when I turned on my radio. I was about to place my Newsboys CD into the player when I heard a person named Chuck Bently on the radio. He's on Crown.org. He took over for the late Larry Burkett's show, "Money Matters." What he said spoke directly into my spirit, and I needed to share it.

Did anyone notice that the major component missing in all of this trying to solve the whole economic disaster is the MAJOR component that we as a nation should come together to do: PRAY and seek God's face and wisdom in this matter.

I sure have, and so has Chuck Bently.

He said that we've omitted God from the equation, and we need to ask God to turn our hearts over to Him. Chuck stated that we as Christians need to run contrary to the world and form a grassroots movement to:
1) Turn to Him
2) Get our personal house in order
3) Create the "New American Dream" of LIVING WITHIN OUR MEANS.

Wow! Living within our means! What a concept congress, the country and the world has missed out on. It says in the Word that whatever we are beholding to is of what, therein we are slaves. We need to get out from under the bondage of credit card debt (and I don't mean by declaring bankruptcy), the bondage of wanting more and more and more, while having less and less and less to pay for these items. It means saying no -- to our children, the ads on the television and radio, and mostly to ourselves.

It says in the Word that God will take care of our NEEDS according to His riches in glory. Funny, I never saw anything about wants, although I'm sure He fulfills our desires beyond our wildest imagination. It also says that we as Christians are NOT to WORRY. We are not to worry about what we will eat, drink or wear -- that is what the world worries about. BUT, our FATHER in Heaven WILL take care of all of our NEEDS. What a wonderful Father!

We Christians have to step up and be the leading force, showing a world terrified by this economic disaster that there is NO reason to fear!

Chuck Bently has called for a fast from October 14th through November 23rd to ask for God's wisdom, Divine guidance, and Repentance. He's based that upon II Chronicles 7:14: "If my people, who are called by My name will humble themselves, and pray and seek My face, and turn from their wicked ways, then I will hear from heaven, and will forgive their sin and heal their land." My own husband preached that one verse for over a month -- God feels it's THAT important that we all humble ourselves. Anyway, Chuck also said that after the fast, that we should have a week of Feast and Thanksgiving for God's provision, followed by a National Day of Generosity on November 30th.

Chuck is right -- we need to stop waiting for someone else to help us -- Church leaders need to LEAD -- and by that, they need to point to our Father God in Heaven as the answer to our need. I plan on fasting and becoming humble before the Lord,,, I humbly ask that you do the same.

Support Your Local Pastor

The title of my blog is "Proverbs 31 woman... in training." From that title alone, one could surmise that I am a woman who is imperfect, yet striving to be a better person through Christ. I will share with you that I am also a pastor's wife. I strive to be as good a helper of the Lord, as well as my dear husband. I wrote my thoughts... I'm thinking of writing to the editor of my local paper with this one.





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SUPORT YOUR LOCAL PASTOR

October is officially, “Pastor Appreciation Month.” As a pastor’s wife, I can assure anyone that my husband does appreciate the beautiful cards that we have received through the years. However, let me state the ways in which most Pastors feel truly appreciated.

The first task of any parishioner is to pray for their pastor. Assuredly, your pastor prays for you. There’s a certain pressure on a pastor; eyes look more closely at pastors to see if they’re staying honest. A pastor needs prayer to rise above the temptations that beset every single human being on the planet. Pastors need prayer as they go into spiritual warfare for their sheep, and as they prepare the word to give to the flock. And while you’re at it, pray for your brothers and sisters in the faith; prayer truly changes things for the better.

Secondly, appreciate your pastor by reading your Bible. Quit expecting the pastor to spoon-feed you the Word. It has been said that “knowledge is power;” if you read your Bible every day, the power you will receive to live and function is this world will truly be powerful. Also, if you read the Bible, you will not be tricked into believing a false doctrine, and you will not get offended by the truth that pastors must sometimes mete out when they see a wrong being done.

Speaking of offenses, a really wonderful way to appreciate your pastor is to quit complaining. If you attend a small church, instead of complaining about a lack of children’s programs, youth programs, or a program that you feel your church should have, step up to the plate, dig in, and help make that program come to pass. If you attend a large church, quit complaining about how there’s no place for you. Make friends with those in the department that you’d wish to be a part of, be ready to volunteer, and with time, you will be trusted to take on more and more responsibilities. Quit complaining about the length of the service; if you’d go to Disneyland, you would be waiting in line longer than the duration of a complete worship service.

Another way that you can appreciate your pastor is to tithe. Yes, I’m talking about money, and no – that’s not all churches think about. But if you don’t tithe, then how in the world are those programs that you’d like to see at your church going to come to pass? When the church asks you to pay a tithe, they are not asking for all of your paycheck – they’re only asking for ten percent; Uncle Sam asks for more. And, in all reality, it is not the church that asks for a tithe; it is written in the book of Malachi. Besides, the majority of money that goes to a church pays for the electricity, the heat, the air conditioning–all of those wonderful items that help to make your time at church a more enjoyable experience, or to help someone who encounters a financial emergency.

Fifth, to appreciate the pastor, please respect the pastor’s family. Most times, your pastor’s spouse met and fell in love with the person behind the collar; most spouses did not go to Bible College. If the pastor’s spouse did not know Scripture before, they will definitely make sure they know Scripture almost better than their spouse within two years of the pastor’s tenure. Please don’t criticize the spouse if they work outside of the home, or if the house is not pristine. Please don’t criticize the pastor’s spouse if they stay at home and have a pristine home. Please don’t criticize the pastor’s spouse if the children are too perfect, or if the children are not perfect enough.

Come to think of it, the pastor’s children did not go to Bible College, either; they’re in the midst of being trained up in the way that they should go. So, please, do not judge the children if they belch or go to the kitchen to get a cup of water because they’re thirsty. They’re only children; and in small churches, your pastor and spouse no doubt could call your place of worship their second home. If your pastor and spouse are leading worship, don’t look condescendingly at the children if they don’t sit perfectly still; sit beside the children and help support the pastor’s family. Ask the pastor to watch the children so your pastor can get a date night with their spouse.

Lastly, pray some more. Your pastor is the one you call in the middle of the night when there’s been an accident or sickness or death. Your pastor is the one who will travel to the hospital at a moment’s notice to make sure you’re okay and comforts you as you shed tears of sorrow or joy. Your pastor is the one who stays up late in the night following your telephone call praying for you. Your pastor is the one who is trying to help you if you need a helping hand. Your pastor is the one who is doing more than speaking a few flowing words of encouragement and admonition on Sundays, your pastor is at the front of the spiritual battleground, doing battle on your behalf. Please help lift up your pastor so that your pastor – and the pastor’s family -- can stand longer and stronger on your behalf. If you follow these few instructions, then your pastors will truly know that you appreciate them.

A New Adventure

Blogging.... If someone would have told me whilst attending college that I would be "blogging", I would have laughed at the idea. "What's BLOGGING?" I would have screeched amidst howls of laughter at the word.

But,,, here I am, determining to write thoughts that may or may not be read by someone in the cyberspace universe. Do we have such a need to be heard by SOMEONE that we write blogs? Do we all wish to have a miniscule way in which to be forever imprinted on the canvas of life? Is this a way to acheive a sense of immortality? Who knows.

My problem is, I have such a desire to write; blogging may be a safe means of writing what is in my heart without fear of getting that proverbial "rejection slip".

So,,, onward and upward with this new adventure!